Cowboy from California

Las Cruces and our state is under attack! We are being invaded by progressive idealism that dilutes the New Mexico we know and love. A brief description of an invader has been provided to me. Have any of you seen this individual?

He is a 61 year old retiree who just recently moved to OUR hometown from the West Coast. The man is a 'cowboy from California' and has a pair of shiny calfskin boots (has to 'blend' in with the locals although he will never use them properly), a ponytail (a flower child to the end), and an over sized straw Mexican sombrero he bought in Santa Fe the previous weekend (he needs lots of shade from this hot New Mexico sun). His daily routine begins with drinking a cup of organic Starbucks coffee that costs $8 while reading the New York Times to see how President Bush is personally adding poison to the water sources in New Orleans. He then makes his way down to COAS bookstore to check out Marx, Rousseau, and Kant. To his delight he finds a used copy of Obama's communist manifesto. He then drives his new Honda back to his Miranda Street bungalow located near pioneer park and shuts off his neighbors sprinklers because of wasteful watering. He makes his way inside, grabs some tropical infusion fruit drink and sinks into his authentic leather couch he bought on sale at Sam's Club. He grabs his eco-friendly laptop that he donated a tree in place of his sin against the liberal commandment, "thou shall not waste electricity unless you buy a tree to make up for your carbon foot print." As he checks in on the Sierra Club's website he scrolls over to Haussamen's blog to read how Bill McCamley is going to save the Mesilla Valley from greedy capitalist pigs that develop all these haciendas for the part time 'cowboys from California'. He then checks his fellow baby boomers site, what's his name? He was handed a heavy defeat by Pat Lyons in the last election...hmmm, he's real liberal, whines too much about losing, and has short man's syndrome... his name escapes me. He then stumbles upon this fine entity of a blog/rant/perspective piece and is horrified that a young Hispanic can be conservative and articulate. What an atrocity to Che Guevara's legacy! He writes 20 editorials to the Sun-News, lefty blogs, and attacks the young conservative in the heat of his illogical emotions. He then picks up his anti-war, anti-baby, anti-American poster sign and makes his way down to the courthouse on Main Street to protest just like he did in the summer of '68!

This individual is multiplying at a significant rate and claims to be the last 'cowboy from California'. He even tries to make things better for us by organizing with other golden heroes to close the gates of prosperity to others, reform our values and system, and promote his doctrine of progressive liberalism even though we don't want it. He buys city councilmen, mayors, congressional candidates, and worships five times a day to his gilded savior Barack Obama.

Time is crucial in apprehending this individual. Hide your impressionable children, your pesticides, SUV's and then contact your local sheriff.